Callings....

This week I recieved a phone call that I needed to go in to see the Bishopric. I figured I would be getting released as the 14-15 year old Sunday School teacher as Jake had just been released, and this would have been our fourth year. I also wasn't really planning on a calling at the moment because, normally, Jake has gone with me and they didn't invite him this time. I was pleasantly surprised to be released! ;) I don't enjoy teaching. I feel like "how am I supposed to teach something I have no idea what I am talking about?!" I am HORRIFIED of teaching. Yes, I have heard the stories over and over, but to teach them to someone?! Ya right. And....to make things worse, have you seen the manuals in Relief Society?!!! They are only 2 maybe 3 pages long!

After he released me from my calling, he asked if I would accept a new calling to be the Relief Society teacher, every 3rd Sunday!!!! I literally started to sob. I'm not even kidding you! It was one of those cries where I could not get composure. It was awful!! I am so emabarrassed that I couldn't get it together. And then he asks me or says "I'm hoping that is a good cry?!". I said "No, I am terrified!! I don't know how to teach!!!" He sat and talked with me for a moment and I left. I am so embarrassed that I couldn't get it together, but I am horrified that I have to teach. I don't know if I just feel inadequate and that is where my feelings are coming from, but last night I tried to talk to Jake about it and literally started to cry again. My worst fear came true. I have to teach! Can't I be the baby specialist or something?!!! The funny thing is, is I was complaining a couple of weeks ago that Jake got released and I didn't and Jake told me that I would be doing it until I learned to enjoy it. Oh great.....I LOVE IT, I LOVE TEACHING!!! ;)

Trials are given to us for a reason. I need to buck up and overcome my fear. I have a great ward and on the positive side, at least it is only once a month. I hope no one goes inactive because of my teaching!!! Just kidding. It's funny because a lot of people in our ward don't go to RS because they don't understand the teacher (that I am replacing) and her personality. Great. Now, what if people don't want to come becuase of the way I teach!!! Oh man. I'm in for a ride!!

Friends

So, January is a real downer of a month for me. I really hate it because I think I get seasonal depression. I hate that the sun doesn't shine and then I start feeling sorry for myself. Lame, I know. Anyway, the other day after teaching a couponing class for Jaymie's ward, I was talking to one of my friends in my ward about how, after almost being in my house for 6 six years I still feel new. I feel like I go to church and only have a select few friends and I really hate that. I am one that needs to have people around me. Anyway, after talking with my friend on our LONG drive up to Canada (Kaysville!!), we decided that we needed to take action! I am not one to go out of my way, infact I keep to myself and if someone talks to me then I'm feeling pretty good. We decided that we needed to get our neighborhood together and have a game night!! So....I invited the entire Relief Society/neighborhood over on Wednesday to have a girls night and play games and eat treats! I was a little nervous because I didn't know if anyone would respond. It was seriously like Christmas moning for me when I saw all the people that wanted to come!! I love that the "older" ladies and the younger ones too are coming. I remember my mom saying once that in Relief Society she has grown to love the "older" women of her ward. They have a young heart in an old body. I kind of want that. I go back to my mom's ward and all my old young women leaders always wave and say hi and it feels like home. I want my new ward to be that way. So I decided to have a game night. I think it is a pretty selfish reason to have everyone over, but maybe if I can be on a personal level with some of them, it won't feel like I just moved in. I'm actually really excited about it. If you know of any great group games, let me know. Hopefully it won't be a flop!!