Memorial Day

This Memorial Day weekend was kind of lame. We stayed home and pretty much just hung around home. I guess that's okay once in a while. On Sunday, we decided to go visit the graves. We went to Jake's aunt's grave, his grandparents, my grandpa, and of course little James'. This memorial day has meant something a little different this year. Ya, it's sad to see loved ones pass through the veil, but somehow in my mind, I rationalize that "they are old, they lived a good life, they at least lived a life". My grandpa was pretty young when he died at age 65, or at least it seems young these days, but he at least got to live until he was 65. We went and got flowers to put on all the graves except for James'. Jake was really cute about the whole thing. I didn't want to put flowers on James' grave. It doesn't really seem fair that his little body never saw the sun, or never played with a tonka truck. So, I decided that he needed some toys. I went with Avery and we picked out a book (I know, what if it rains? I didn't care. Plus, I left the plastic on), a truck, and a Buzz Light Year. It was actually kind of fun to go and get something just for him. I called Jake and told him what I had bought, (mind you, this was Jake's idea in the first place. Love him!) and his reply was that if he were living, we would have spent the money anyway. That to me meant so so so much. Not that money should be an issue, but it was toys that would be out in the weather and most likely "be a waste". I don't think it was a waste, infact, going to his little headstone made it that much more enjoyable. I love to buy gifts for people. I try really hard to figure out what they like or dislike and try to know without them knowing I'm watching or listening to what they are saying. In the store, I was trying to picture this cute little James and what he would be play with. He would be 8 months this month and would probably LOVE trucks. Who knows, maybe he would have liked dolls ;) but it was very fullfilling to purchase toys just for him. I hadn't seen his headstone until this weekend, and it looked so good. It's kind of nice to know there is a place for his little body. We love you sweet little James, can't wait to meet you!

**Yes, Avery was dancing on his headstone (sorry Mark and Jaymie), it really wasn't out of disrespect. I figured they would have danced together if he was alive, so I let her dance. I was hoping he was ok with that!!

Grandpa's 80th B-day party

Seamstress?....not hardly!

My cute friend sewed a couple of dresses for her little girl who is a couple months older than Avery, and they were darling!! So....I attempted!! I am by far a seamstress but it has been theraputic for me. I'm not sure why but it was actually quite fun. It is far from perfection, but considering it's my first one, I'll take it!!

Mother's Day is the BEST!!

This Mother's day I ABSOLUTELY loved!! It was sooo fun! Jake took Avery shopping the other night to get me a present. I guess he took her to JC Penny because I had seen a purse there that I wanted. Anyway, apparently they didn't have the one I wanted so he found three and set them on the ground and let Avery pick it out. She picked out this really cute green one and apparently wouldn't put it down!! So cute! (and just a side note, I was getting out of the car, put the purse on my shoulder and Avery proceeded to point, say purse and smiled! I don't know if she knew it was the one she picked out, but I liked to think she did!! It was very cute!) Jake made it so special and enjoyable. I was woken up to breakfast in bed, which consisted of sugar coated strawberries (MMMMMmmm), toast with homemade strawberry jam, and chocolate milk! Breakfast of champions! Ü Jake then got Avery ready for church. We have 9 o'clock church so we are normally in a rush to get out the door, but Jake had gotten the diaper bag ready and Avery all ready to go. At church, the primary kids sang to their moms and one of our class members that we used to teach, Vlad, came up and gave me a hug, and told me Happy Mother's day! My heart melted again! How sweet, a 16 year old would come up and give me a hug and tell me that! It was very sweet. Jake made we lunch and we spent the rest of the day together as a family and went up to my parents for dinner. All the boys made dinner, lasagna, my favorite again!! and it was delish! It was just a really good day. Not only am I grateful for being a mom, I am so grateful for my own mom. What a great example she is to me and such a great teacher! Happy Mother's day mom! I hope it was as good as mine!! Happy Mother's day to all the other cute mom's out there! What a fun holiday!!

Yay for Nephews!!

Yesterday my sister delivered her baby!! His name is Kevin Chase Becker, after my dad. He weighed a whopping 9 lbs 6 oz and he is so stinkin cute! He is chubby and has a huge dimple on his left cheek. It was kind of a surprise delivery since her scheduled due date wasn't until the 17th. Can you imagine how huge he would have been?!! Oh man! Good thing he came out now! He is so cute and both mom and baby are doing well. It's so fun to hold him.

This is a little bit more on the personal side, but I guess that's what this is. When they wheeled Beckee in from having a C-section, little Chase was all bundled up and grunting. It was so cute, but I couldn't help from feeling a lot of emotions. I was sitting next to my sister Jaymie and couldn't help but want to start crying. I was holding back tears as thoughts raced through my head. I was so excited for Beckee but my heart ached for Jaymie. I wasn't in the room the day Jaymie delivered, but I know that it should have been a wonderful experience, but it wasn't. It was really hard. It was awful, but I know that little James' spirit was there holding Chase's hand through it all. (AHHH I'm bawling as I write this!) I want that day so bad for Jaymie. I want it to be happy and exciting and wonderful. She can put on a good front, almost too good sometimes. She was trying so hard to be happy for Beckee and I'm pretty sure she was, but I couldn't help but wonder what her thoughts were. I couldn't help but imagine how hard it is to hold a brand new baby. Jaymie, I love you and can't wait for the day that you can hold your little one too.

Lately it seems that there are a lot of miscarriages, well more still born babies. What is going on? I have a different perspective on that now. It has a whole new meaning. There is so much heartache and sorrow. I heard of another one, a friend of a friend, and I wanted to start bawling then too! The heartache she is just starting out on. This has got to be one of the worst trials. Those that have lost babies, my heart aches for you. Those that have had children, my heart rejoices. I know what it is like to miscarry, I know what it is like to give birth, I don't know what it is like to give birth to a still born, but how precious life is and truly a miracle.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that we have been given about the plan of salvation. I am so grateful that I believe in a life after this so we can hold the ones that we have lost. (This is supposed to be a happy post! It is, I am so excited for Beckee, you have no idea. There are just a lot of mixed emotions running. Maybe it is because Chase is the first one after James.) I am grateful for my cute family, Jake and Avery. What a blessing they are! I am grateful for my siblings and my parents and nieces and nephews. My cup is truly full.

May 8 2010

On to something a little different. Today is our 6th wedding anniversary!! I can't believe how fast time flies! Last weekend Jake and I went up to Midway to stay at the Johnson Mill bed and breakfast and it was sooo fun! You kind of forget what it is like with just the two of you! It was nice to get away for a couple of days. I love Jake more than anything. He truly is my knight in shining armor. I couldn't ask for better. He does have to clean up after me sometimes...okay maybe more than sometimes, but he just does it without complaining. He also is a very good dad to Avery. He is always making sure she is taken care of. Usually on Sunday mornings he has her diaper bag and breakfast ready to go. I was kind of taken by that and didn't expect him to do it all, but he doesn't even have to be asked, he just does it. He just DOES a lot of things. He and Avery went out shopping for me for Mother's day and bought me a purse! He was so excited to Avery and just do a daddy daughter thing! I love that!! He also brought me a plant home as well. What a cute guy! I just love him! I hope he knows how much I love him!! Happy Anniversary sweets!!! To many many more wonderful years ahead!! Can't wait!! I love you!