Avery is 2 months!!

I can't believe that my little Avery is already 8 weeks old! Where does the time go!! She is so fun and so cute. She is starting to notice things around her and it amazes me how quickly things change and how she is developing every day. I am so grateful that I can stay home and watch her grow up. I can't imagine having to leave her to a babysitter to watch her every change. She is beginning to smile more and when you talk to her she acts like she responds. She is starting coo (just a little) and it is soo stinking cute. She is so fun! I went to the Women's Conference on Saturday and was only gone for a few hours, but it seemed like forever. It felt like I was missing something. We have been glued to eachother for the last two months and I LOVE it!! I LOVE holding her. I love when she lays on her stomach on your chest....oh my little piece of heaven!! I don't know why I got so lucky, but Heavenly Father sure did bless me with such a sweet little girl.

The dreaded day finally came

We knew this day would come and we were hoping it would have been easier than it was. It was actually horrible. We decided it was time for Dakota to go to a better place yesterday. It was so aweful. I am so attached to her and cannot get it together! We had a couple of bad nights again with her this weekend and on Saturday night, Jake let her out to go potty (with a lot of coaxing) and she went straight to her doghouse and wouldn't come out. If you know Dakota, she is not one to be by herself, especially when it comes to Jake. She liked her doghouse alright, but would much rather be in our house on your lap. She also hadn't drank or eaten anything for at least 3 days. I guess when you have chronic renal failure, you get really thirsty and can get dehydrated really easily. You then pee out all the nutrients and have a hard time digesting protein. Dakota drank water like we were running out of it and she peed sooo much. Anyway, she had been a picky eater in the beginning and we knew she liked wet food instead of dry so we tried feeding her wet food and she ate that for a while. After that she started to not eat again, so we tried giving her eggs. She ate eggs for about a week and then gave those up. We then tried tuna fish (sick, my house stunk with it sitting in her bowel!!), she ate that for about a day. Jake also tried getting her to eat lunch meat. Six months ago, we couldn't keep her away from the dinner table begging for food. She was starving to death literally, and was so hungry. It was horrible to watch her everyday go look at her food bowel and walk away. I knew she was hungry but she was so nauseated that she couldn't keep anything down. She would throw up at least 5 or 6 six times a day. I have to admit that cleaning up throw up was getting a little old.

It was seriously aweful to watch her deterioate. On Friday night, she would throw up (I'm not really sure what she threw up since there wasn't anything in her) and then her body would still heave after she was done. It was seriously so sad. I think that was the turning point for Jake. He needed to be the one to make the decision and it was then I think he got himself ready. I told him that I can't watch her everyday look at me with sad eyes and see her bones stick out further and further. Saturday he called the vet and made the decision to take her in. They couldn't take her until Monday but he made the appointment anyway. Well, Saturday night was even worse so we decided to take her yesterday.

I have never gone through anything like putting a dog to sleep and it's not really like they go to sleep. They can tell you that all they want!! We found a place that was open and took her to he Pet Center on 4900 S. at the old 49th Street Galleria. She didn't really have a lot of strength left but she walked into to the place until we reached the door to go into the treatment center. I think she knew something was up. She stopped and Jake had to pick her up and carry her in. I lost it at that point (although, I had been a wreck ever since she was diagnosed!!). The guy asked why we were there and Jake answered "to put her down". I think the guy felt bad he had even asked, although it was his job.

They took us to an exam room and we waited for about an hour. While we waited Dakota stayed on Jake's lap. I couldn't stop crying. I hate the anticiaption, I think of the worst things and I just don't do well!! I asked Jake if he would have rather Josh, his brother had come instead of me and he laughed and said "it would have been much easier!" Dakota at this point was getting a little antsy and I know she could feel that I was sad. She turned around on Jake's lap and laid her head on mine with her two front paws. When she was first diagnosed a few months ago, the vet came in to tell me the news and I started to bawl (no surprise!!) and Dakota immediately was trying to get on my lap and was curious to what was going on. The vet said "she is pretty intune with you, isn't she?" I hope that she knew that we loved her. I know this seems so silly. If it were me reading this before Dakota, I probably would have had to laugh a little. We had animals all growing up, infact all my siblings had animals except me. I wasn't an animal lover, so all these emotions that I have for Dakota are foreign to me.

The vet finally came in and explained to us what was going to happen. She asked if we wanted to have some time after to say goodbye. I'm not attached to her body, I am attached to her little soul and I don't do real well with dead bodies. We told her we didn't really need time after, that we had already said our goodbyes. She explained the three shots she would give her, the last being the overdose. She said that a lot of people are surprised at how quickly they go, and not be alarmed. She definitely went in less than 10 seconds. I knew exactly when she was gone. I could see it in her eyes. She was lifeless. I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her and we went on our way.

It seems unfair and rotten. It was not a fun thing to do but it was time. I don't think we will get another dog anytime soon. Jake wants to finish school first so he can spend time with it. He has had a rough time as well and it breaks my heart even more to watch him cry. He loved her so much and misses her already. I was making dinner last night and missed my cooking partner, stepping over her and telling her to go lie down. Jake said he was thinking the same thing. We went to bed last night and Jake was so sad. I think he had a hard time falling asleep. He took really good care of her and misses her. I miss her but I know that she is soo much happier. It was a sad day.

She just looks so sad. She is so bony... She was a good dog.

Pictures off cell phones

Hey has anyone ever printed a picture off their cell phone?....dumb question I know, but do they turn out?!! or are they too small to print a 4 x 6?

My little peanut!!

I love this face, "really mom?! what are we doing?!"


So, over Labor Day weekend, Jake, Avery, and I (oh and Dakota!!) went up to Idaho for Jake's annual family reunion. It was nice to get away and be up in the mountains. I love camping and haven't done any of that this year. This was Avery's first camping trip, although Jake was laughing at me because we ended up sleeping at his parents house for the night. He didn't really call that camping!



Of course there was a cold front coming and it was supposed to rain (which it did) and I was worried that my poor kid would freeze! I bundled her up and I don't think she could breathe! I was laughing because she looked like the kid on the Christmas Story that couldn't move his arms!! She didn't seem to mind and she stayed warm! She is so cute, I just can't get enough of her! Needless to say, the rain held off until we were almost done with dinner and then it poored. That kind of put a damper on things and everyone left. In all it was nice to get outside and was fun to be with Jake's family.



**update on Dakota

The Friday night before Labor Day, we thought for sure we were going to have to put Dakota down. It was probably the worst night ever. Between her and Avery I don't think either one of us got much sleep. During that day, Dakota didn't eat or drink anything and wouldn't stand up to throw up. She would just lay there and heave (nothing to puke but bile). It seriously is the saddest thing. I hate watching her. Anyway, we go to bed at 1 am because Avery was fussy and finally hit the pillow. All of the sudden I hear Dakota start heaving again...(she doesn't usually sleep on our bed, in fact this was the first time. I hate the hair and I think my bed should be mine and no the dogs. Jake uses the excuse that she in on her death bed and she will sleep better....so I gave in. Gross!!) So I shove her off the bed, and Jake darts trying to find her blanket to have her throw up on that instead of the carpet. I just started to laugh. It was so ridiculous. Not only does she throw up once, she throws up twice without fail. So we finally get that all situated, lay back down and I'm not even kidding you, she starts to heave again!! This time we had gotten the paper towels and all I see is Jake flying off the bed trying to catch whatever comes out. Luckily we have a carpet cleaner or could you imagine how discusting our carpet would be!! sick!!! So we go for round two. I was cracking up because now Avery would be waking up in a few to eat. I was ready for that night to be over!!! I wished that it could have been videotaped because despite the fact that Dakota is so sick, the flying of arms and bodies trying to catch puke at 3 in the morning was hilarious! I don't think Jake thought it was very funny, but I couldn't help but laugh.



Saturday morning roles around (finally) and we both thought for sure that today would be the day we would put her down. But that day she acted better and has since. She looks terrible and feels terrible but she still gets excited and the vet says that when there are more bad days than good then it's time. How do you know?! It totally sucks. Her teeth are starting to go bad from all the acid coming up and she has horrible breath. She just looks terrible. So are we horrible for keeping her still alive? It is hard, she is totally part of this family. We just know it will be sooner than later. Poor thing.

I got tagged by Amy Dayton, who I haven't seen in way too long! :) That is the great thing about blogs and staying connected.First one:Post these rules on your blog.

List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself.Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

3 Joys

1. Bathing my little girl... she loves the bath!!
2. Laughing with Jake, there is nothing more fun!!
3. Spending time with my family, doing anything or nothing.

3 Fears
1. Disapointment
2. Being a hypocrit.
3. failing in life as a wife and mother.

3 Goals
1. Lose more than just the baby weight...seeing that that is already gone!!
2. Go to the Temple more
3. Not be so ornery to Jake when I don't get enough sleep!

3 Obsessions/collections
1. I collect a lot of things (I am kind of a pack rat, thanks dad!!)
2. I don't know if this is an obsession, maybe more of a pet pieve, but I hate when the door is slightly open. JUST SHUT IT ALL THE WAY!!
3. Blogging.

About Me
1. I love to go boating, but I haven't been in who knows how long.
2. I love to camp, tent trailer, under the stars...bring it on!!
3. I love being a new mom!

Second one:Rules:Each player answers the questions themselves.At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answers.

Ten years ago…
1. I I was in high school, I can't believe it's been ten years already! crazy
2. I was 17 and was looking forward to the end of the school year.
3. I went to Europe for the first time.
4. I worked at Zuka Juice and thought it was the best job ever!!
5. I don't think I owned a car at that time!!

Five things on today’s “to do” list…
1. Feed Avery
2. Change Avery's cute butt
3. Bathe Avery
4. Bathe myself
5. maybe fix dinner.....man do I have a life or what!!

Five snacks I enjoy…
1. Cookie dough
2. sugary candy
3. chewy granola bars
4. chocolate with peanut butter
5. chips and salsa

Five things I would do if I was a millionaire...
1. Definitely go shopping
2. Have a little plastic surgery, nothing too fake
3. Invest so my hubby doesn't have to work
4. Travel
5. buy our dream house, although I really love my house now

Five places I have lived
1. Riverton, UT
2. Sandy, UT
3. Salt Lake City, UT
4. Orem, UT
5. back to Riverton, UT ...I think I need to get out a little!!

The 5 people I tag are: anyone who wants to do it!!