The dreaded day finally came

We knew this day would come and we were hoping it would have been easier than it was. It was actually horrible. We decided it was time for Dakota to go to a better place yesterday. It was so aweful. I am so attached to her and cannot get it together! We had a couple of bad nights again with her this weekend and on Saturday night, Jake let her out to go potty (with a lot of coaxing) and she went straight to her doghouse and wouldn't come out. If you know Dakota, she is not one to be by herself, especially when it comes to Jake. She liked her doghouse alright, but would much rather be in our house on your lap. She also hadn't drank or eaten anything for at least 3 days. I guess when you have chronic renal failure, you get really thirsty and can get dehydrated really easily. You then pee out all the nutrients and have a hard time digesting protein. Dakota drank water like we were running out of it and she peed sooo much. Anyway, she had been a picky eater in the beginning and we knew she liked wet food instead of dry so we tried feeding her wet food and she ate that for a while. After that she started to not eat again, so we tried giving her eggs. She ate eggs for about a week and then gave those up. We then tried tuna fish (sick, my house stunk with it sitting in her bowel!!), she ate that for about a day. Jake also tried getting her to eat lunch meat. Six months ago, we couldn't keep her away from the dinner table begging for food. She was starving to death literally, and was so hungry. It was horrible to watch her everyday go look at her food bowel and walk away. I knew she was hungry but she was so nauseated that she couldn't keep anything down. She would throw up at least 5 or 6 six times a day. I have to admit that cleaning up throw up was getting a little old.

It was seriously aweful to watch her deterioate. On Friday night, she would throw up (I'm not really sure what she threw up since there wasn't anything in her) and then her body would still heave after she was done. It was seriously so sad. I think that was the turning point for Jake. He needed to be the one to make the decision and it was then I think he got himself ready. I told him that I can't watch her everyday look at me with sad eyes and see her bones stick out further and further. Saturday he called the vet and made the decision to take her in. They couldn't take her until Monday but he made the appointment anyway. Well, Saturday night was even worse so we decided to take her yesterday.

I have never gone through anything like putting a dog to sleep and it's not really like they go to sleep. They can tell you that all they want!! We found a place that was open and took her to he Pet Center on 4900 S. at the old 49th Street Galleria. She didn't really have a lot of strength left but she walked into to the place until we reached the door to go into the treatment center. I think she knew something was up. She stopped and Jake had to pick her up and carry her in. I lost it at that point (although, I had been a wreck ever since she was diagnosed!!). The guy asked why we were there and Jake answered "to put her down". I think the guy felt bad he had even asked, although it was his job.

They took us to an exam room and we waited for about an hour. While we waited Dakota stayed on Jake's lap. I couldn't stop crying. I hate the anticiaption, I think of the worst things and I just don't do well!! I asked Jake if he would have rather Josh, his brother had come instead of me and he laughed and said "it would have been much easier!" Dakota at this point was getting a little antsy and I know she could feel that I was sad. She turned around on Jake's lap and laid her head on mine with her two front paws. When she was first diagnosed a few months ago, the vet came in to tell me the news and I started to bawl (no surprise!!) and Dakota immediately was trying to get on my lap and was curious to what was going on. The vet said "she is pretty intune with you, isn't she?" I hope that she knew that we loved her. I know this seems so silly. If it were me reading this before Dakota, I probably would have had to laugh a little. We had animals all growing up, infact all my siblings had animals except me. I wasn't an animal lover, so all these emotions that I have for Dakota are foreign to me.

The vet finally came in and explained to us what was going to happen. She asked if we wanted to have some time after to say goodbye. I'm not attached to her body, I am attached to her little soul and I don't do real well with dead bodies. We told her we didn't really need time after, that we had already said our goodbyes. She explained the three shots she would give her, the last being the overdose. She said that a lot of people are surprised at how quickly they go, and not be alarmed. She definitely went in less than 10 seconds. I knew exactly when she was gone. I could see it in her eyes. She was lifeless. I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her and we went on our way.

It seems unfair and rotten. It was not a fun thing to do but it was time. I don't think we will get another dog anytime soon. Jake wants to finish school first so he can spend time with it. He has had a rough time as well and it breaks my heart even more to watch him cry. He loved her so much and misses her already. I was making dinner last night and missed my cooking partner, stepping over her and telling her to go lie down. Jake said he was thinking the same thing. We went to bed last night and Jake was so sad. I think he had a hard time falling asleep. He took really good care of her and misses her. I miss her but I know that she is soo much happier. It was a sad day.

She just looks so sad. She is so bony... She was a good dog.