Becoming a better Me.

For our last Relief Society activity, we had some of our ward members as well as another girl come talk to us about being sister scriptorians. Studying the scriptures is something that I have been thinking about lately and for quite some time I have just put it on the back burner. Jake even got the Book of Mormon study guide for me for Christmas. They did a fantastic job, although, being a female, I sat there and honestly had anxiety. I felt like I am not doing enough. I know that that wasn't the point. I know that the whole reason behind the lesson is to just do the best that we can possibly do. The thing is, is you are never just standing still. You are always moving forward or backward. For the longest time, I have felt like my life is fabulous (it still is!) but I have felt like I am doing what I is asked of me and that's it. Although, thinking about it, I'm just skimming by. My prayers consist of Avery's dinner prayers or our family prayers when she goes to bed. I need to work on having my own prayers. Although, I don't feel like I need to set a certain time to talk to my Heavenly Father. I feel like I am constantly talking to him, but maybe not in the most formal way I should be. 

 I need to become a better me. I need to become a sister scriptorian. I had wanted to go on a mission for selfish reasons. I wanted to go on a mission so that I could learn how to really study the scriptures. I met Jake and never looked back. I don't think I missed out on anything. It was the right thing for me to get married, but I feel like I don't know how to really study the scriptures. 

....so back to the Relief Society night....

  This girl who was giving the lesson, spoke about keeping a scripture journal. Now, her journals are completely scrapbooks and way over the top (oneofakindgiftideas). They are seriously amazing. (insert anxiety!) She has been working on them since October and only on 1 Nephi 4. She got her ideas from TheRedheadedhostess.com. She says that she has learned more in those four chapters than she has ever learned before. So, I decided to check out this website. This girl who keeps these journals is amazing! What an awesome thing to pass down to your kids. I love that it's not just to write down facts, or write down the good things, this is to write down your struggles and the positive things you learned from it. The prophets have taught us to keep these journals and write the truth, as a lesson for our kids. I love this! We received a missionary journal and were so excited to open it up to read and maybe get a little insight on this person but to open and be fairly disappointed. Not that there wasn't anything in it, but there wasn't any lessons learned, or deep insight to what this person may have been going through. We don't have to be amazing writers by all means. I think I am probably the worst writer ever, but how cool would it have been to be able to read some of the success stories or even the success stories after the trials. I know that we have daily journals, but this is a little different. This is how the scriptures have effected us and maybe a more spiritual side. 

I have felt like this is so much work and really didn't know where to start. This same lady, theredheadedhostess, also has a book that has all of the names Christ is given. So, I decided to start there. I received the book two days ago and started today. I maybe spent 30 mins while Avery colored next to me and Ry took a nap. It is in alphabetical order, the first being Advocate, the second Almighty, and third Alpha and Omega. I could probably go into more detail on each one, but it was fun to define the name, read through the scriptures, and give a little insight on what it means to me. I am excited about doing this. Maybe after I get done with this one, I can start with the Book of Mormon and maybe it won't seem so overwhelming. 

I want my girls to have a little insight on my life. I want them to read a spiritual side of me, something that we don't always share. I hope that one day this journal can be an inspiration for them. Hopefully, that if they are going through a hard time in life and start to question the church, maybe this can be a help. Maybe this can help them gain a testimony. I know that their's is a chosen generation and they have such strong spirits but this world is evil and these times are so trying. I hope that it can give them a sense of who they are. But, if it does nothing for them, then at least I am trying to become a better me. At least I have my testimony written for me. I guess it's a win/win situation. 

Here goes to finishing the Names of Christ and moving on to the scriptures....wish me luck!!