This year we celebrated our ten year anniversary. May was a little crazy with soccer, so we postponed going anywhere until now. We stayed up at the Park City Plaza Hotel. I love going away with just Jake. We can relax and just enjoy each other. We shipped the girls up to Idaho with Jake's parents and were able to stay two nights. We went shopping, rented a movie, went out to eat, walked around Main street and just enjoyed the weekend.
I checked into our hotel room and was talking to the guy at the desk. He asked me why we were there and I told him for our anniversary. He asked me how many years and I told him ten. He was shocked! and asked "how do you do it?". Ten years doesn't seem like that long to me and I felt strange having someone ask me that question. Isn't that something you ask old people who have been married for 50 years?! Anyway, it really caught me off guard and I didn't answer the way I wanted to. We continued to small talk, I asked him how long he had been married and he said five years and 11...yes 11, kids later. He seemed like he wasn't in the happiest marriage, or at least that was the vibe he was giving off. He handed me the keys to our room, I thanked him and walked away. That question has been swirling in my head for the last couple of days. What makes a successful marriage?? Why can I be married for 10 years and others not?? What makes our relationship any more special than someone else's? Marriage is dang hard, right up there with parenting. The hardest thing I have ever done.
The next day we went running, and was thinking about this conversation and what I really wished I had said. I really wished I had told him that was "Divorce isn't an option". Everyone's response is usually, "give 150% of yourself" "put your spouse first"...and so on. Those statements are completely true. You totally have to give 150% of yourself. There isn't room for selfishness. But if you think there is a way out, I could see how taking the easy way out when it starts to get hard, could be an option. I recently went to a wedding, it wasn't an LDS wedding. And I felt sorry for them. There was no accountability except for their vows, there was nothing binding. So if you both have given up...what's holding you together?! In a temple wedding, your marriage is between you, your spouse and the Lord. It isn't just the two of you.
I don't think my marriage is easier than my neighbors or easier than anyone else's. We definitely have our challenges, but I know that Jake is in it for the long haul. So am I. Ten years is nothing. I can't wait until I can say 50!! I love Jake. I love him more and more every day. It's true, I don't think you know what love is on your wedding day. Ten years, three kids later, life is pretty good.
