Haley...or Haylee Maines (not sure how they are spelling it!)

Cute little Haley made her presence finally after a day of waiting! We are so excited that she is here! She is absolutely beautiful and is an angel from above. She was a tiny 6 lbs 6 oz and 19 inches long. I could just stare at her all day! She is so cute!

It was definitely a roller coaster of emotions. I woke up at 5:45 and it honestly felt like Christmas. My stomach was in knots and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but have anxiety for the day ahead. Jaymie went in at 7:30 and after a long day of waiting, the doctor decided that since her hand was above her little head, her little body wouldn't drop down into the birth canal. She was then taken in for a C-section. I honestly was so excited I really couldn't hold it in. My mom gave us a little prep talk before and told us to try to keep it down, but it WAS really hard. I wanted to shout from the roof and jump up and down and sing and dance and celebrate! Mark came walking out of the OR and we got to see a glimpse of her before she was taken to the nursery to be tested. Oh my goodness. I started to bawl, (I know...shocker right?!) I can't even describe how I felt. It truly was a miracle that this baby is here. It's funny how you think pregnancy should be this simple and easy thing to do, yet for some (for A LOT) people, it is the most challenging thing they will ever go through. I think seeing that cute little bundle gave me a new perspective on how precious life is, how it can be taken from us in an instant and how it really isn't us who is in charge. Giving birth is truly a miracle. Really. I don't think miracle is quite the right word. It is so much bigger than that.

It was such a glorious day! I'm so glad Jaymie and Mark have this new little life to celebrate!

It was a good day!

On, the flip side of things, I read on facebook that my cousin and his wife might find out this week if they can adopt. I don't know the details, but for someone to trust someone else with their baby's life is also truly a blessing. Adoption gives you the opportunity that you may or may not have otherwise. I'm so excited for them and can't wait to see their bundle of joy as well!! What a glorious day that will be. I'm keeping my toes and fingers crossed!!

Trunk or Treat!

 This is a horrible angle. I look like I am 300 lbs! Avery was ornery because she was starving so she is covering her face!!

 Every year our ward does a trunk or treat. They have a pie/chili cook off and give prizes to the best dressed and best food. There actually is a pretty good turnout and it was a lot of fun. Jake was a good sport this year and missed the Utah game to come with Avery and I and celebrate this tradition. I actually really like the idea instead of going door to door! It's so much easier!!

 Cute little Tinkerbell herself!

I put her costume on the day before to make sure that it fit, only I didn't put socks or a onsie on her. I should have taken a picture. It was hysterical. Her little pudgy self was falling out at the top and her cute little chubby legs at the bottom. She is just so squishy!! I love to squish her!!

She loved dressing up. When we got home that night, she was all about dancing around in her "tutu".....I know, nothing new. She dances to hymns during church!

Witches Night Out

 The coven of witches! Aren't they all so cute?! I love 'em!

 Us, waiting an HOUR at Chili's when they said it would only be a half hour! LAME!!

 Me and Ash

 Ash and Amy

 The CREW!

 Kristen, me and Natalie

 Me, Myra, and Amy

Anyone who has grown up with me, knows that Halloween is probably my least favorite holiday. Well, not this year. It has actually been quite fun! On October 22nd, a bunch of girls in my ward all got dressed up, went to dinner, and then went to Gardner Village for a fun little witches party. What a fun night! I don't love the attention that we were getting, but it was quite comical. We had one lady take our picture with her camera at Chili's and another lady do the same at Gardner Village. Thanks Ash for getting this all together! What a great way to spend a girls night out!!

Sweet James

Grandma and Grandpa w/the grandkids

 We went and put balloons on his grave from all the cousins and his sister.

Today is my sweet nephew, James' one year birthday. It's seems strange to think that it has already been a year. I'm sure this year hasn't gone as fast for my sister as it has for the rest of us. It is kind of a bitter sweet day. Talking to Jaymie, she was wishing it could have been a day of celebration rather than a day spent going to the cemetery. Unfortunately, it was the latter. I don't know if I have a disrespected view point or not. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but if it were me, I would want today to be a day of celebration. I know I am not in those shoes, but I would want to not just to celebrate that he is turning one, but to celebrate life. It's a chance to celebrate the fact that we know we will see him again and to celebrate the fact that there is life after this one. I want this day so bad to be normal for Jaymie and Mark. But how "normal" can it really be. I want so badly to celebrate big and celebrate Jaymie being a mom and Mark a dad. I want the world to know that this little spirit is alive and that he is ONE!! And I want everyone to celebrate with us! When your kid has a birthday, it's your birthday too, and it should be an exciting day! For unknown reasons, this new "normal" is okay. This new normal on October 19th will be one to celebrate forever.

I hope it's okay to share this Aubrey...but I was talking with Aubrey on our way home from the cemetery and Aubrey was asking or talking about will there ever be a day that we don't find this day important or find ourselves "too" busy to celebrate. I honestly, truly hope that that day never comes. I don't know what it is, but my nieces and nephews feel like they are partly mine. I feel like James is partly mine. I feel like that little graveside is partly mine. And I would certainly hope that I would never forget my child. I want this day to be a celebration for the years to come. 

We went to dinner at the Olive Garden, and I really wanted to bring a cake and sing to him. Am I so dysfunctional? It's probably not appropriate and probably a good thing I didn't bring one, but I really did just feel like singing happy birthday to at least Jaymie and Mark. It is a birthday to celebrate and maybe one day it will get to a point where we can sing to him. (probably not since I am such a crier! I wouldn't be able to make it through the song!)

Anyway, I'm grateful that we are past the one year mark. Jaymie will be celebrating her new little girl any day now and hopefully this time of year can be a celebration of life for both her little kids. We love you James Happy Birthday and we'll see you soon.

The Vineyard

 I think at this point, Avery told me to "stop pictures, mom"!! She has gotten a little sassy in her older years!!

We had some fun too!!!

Avery and I met up with the Becker's and drove down to Orem to check out this little place called The Vineyard! What a fun little place. We first went through a corn maze, which we couldn't find the way out so we had cheat a little bit. Avery was tired and didn't want to walk and of course I forgot the stroller. We had been in there FOREVER and it was time to get out! Johnny was a little worried that we cheated, but I think Beckee and I were both done being in corn!! After the maze there is a little place where they have animals and things for the kids to play on, you can go through and see Halloween lights, and then bounce in the bouncy place. Avery had so much fun, we just might have to go there next year!

Engh Gardens

Today we went to Engh Gardens with a couple of my friends and their kids. We sat and listened to Pirate Roger tell us a couple stories (which Avery was laughing loudly and it was very fake...but it was pretty cute!), had the opportunity to go on a scavenger hunt (but the kids could have cared less about that), they went through the hay maze and were able to play on a pirate ship. It was such a beautiful day, perfect for going out! This October weather has been great!

 Three princesses in Cinderella's pumpkin! Claire, Avery, & Karmindy

 Listening to "Roger" tell his "scary" stories, that Avery thought were hysterical!

 Playing in the Pirate ship!

Spill the beans...

I guess it's okay to spill the beans on here, since a lot of you already know and there are some things that I want to write down and don't want to forget. I am now 13 1/2 weeks pregnant, but at 8 weeks I started spotting and went to the ER. They drew blood, took a urine sample, did an ultrasound and everything turned out to be just fine. I remember sitting in the radiologist's room looking at the screen and seeing a little thing moving around. I didn't have an ultrasound that early with Avery and it took me by surprise a little bit. I know that at 5 weeks there is a heart beat, but I didn't honestly think that you could "see" the baby. I guess I figured it was too small. Silly, I guess to think that since technology these days in incredible. Anyway, seeing a little baby in there swimming around made me all that more nervous. If I had a miscarriage now, knowing that there is a baby in there, it would definitely be much harder than the two I previously had before Avery. It was so cool to here the heart beat beating at 162 beats per minute and knowing it was the right size for the weeks I was. But then the anxiety set in...of course. After a few hours in the ER, they sent me home and I went to bed. They put me on bed rest and told me not to do anything. (that is really hard when you have a 2 year old saying "mommy hold you", it broke my heart).

I have been so sick to the point where so far I have lost 13 pounds. I'm not sure that is really a good thing, (too bad it's not this easy when you aren't pregnant) but being sick is miserable. I have thrown up a couple times and it's more annoying than anything. Nights are really bad. In the beginning I would be so nauseated from what seemed like all day into all night. It would keep me up in the night and then next morning I was just too tired to do anything! Jake told me that I was really boring...but I don't really blame him, since all I want to do is lay on the couch! Luckily, it is now from 5 pm into the night and I can actually get some sleep. I went off of prenatals for a while which seemed to help a little. They upped my Zofran to 16 mg a day instead of just the 4 mg. 16 mg at least makes it livable, 4 mg didn't even take the edge off.

Anyway, I have since stopped bleeding and went in for my regular first appointment on September 8th and the ultrasound on September 22nd. How fun it is to see a little baby "waving" at you! You could see it's little feet and hands and it's crazy to think there is a baby inside of me again.

I'm horrified of having two little kids. I hope that I can keep learning patience. Some days I struggle and I hope that I can be a good mom to these little munchkins! Crazy! I'm going to be a mom of two. I was rocking Avery last night and was looking at her while she was sleeping and thinking how quickly these past two years have gone. She is getting so big and time goes by so fast. She says and does the funniest things and I wished that I could record everything. I have to remember just to enjoy those moments because they won't last forever.

Avery's First Hair cut

 (Before)

 On Friday, October 1st, I cut Avery's hair. It has been driving me nuts. I'm not attached to hair like most mom's are. I figure as long as it looks cute, so be it. Well, it wasn't looking cute. It was looking so stringy and straggely and really just uneven. So, I cute about an inch and half off. It still needs to be shorter but if I had gone any further the curls would have for sure been gone. She did so good to sit in her chair and watch Go Diego Go and eat her ring pop! Not even a squeel...now I just worry if she gets a hold of the scissors she will think it's okay to use them on her hair!

 (After)