Jaymie and I took all these kiddos to Ikea. Not really sure what we were thinking?!! Actually, we were really hoping they could all go play in the play place while we shopped, but unfortunately for us, the play place was full. So we braved it and took them all around with us. Let's just say it was crazy. They all wanted to ride the escalator in the beginning and I told Avery no, that there were too many of us and we needed to take the elevator. We finished shopping and were going to go up to get some lunch. Well, we came to the escalator once again and they kept begging to go up. So I told Hadley to hold Hayden's hand and Avery to hold Coy's hand and that they could go up but to meet us at the top, since we had carts and I had Ashtyn. The kids go to get on and and Had let go of Hayden's hand. Hayden didn't quite have her balance and while Hadley was headed up, Hayden was headed down backwards on her back. Luckily, there was an older man going up and caught Hayden. I graciously said thank you for catching my child and he gave me the absolute dirtiest look and replied "really? you are sending your kids up by themselves?". Like I was the worst mother in the world to allow my children to be independent. It really hurt my feelings. In fact, I started to cry. I was doing my best with five children and it's hard enough. I don't need someone criticizing me. Especially an old man. Four kids really has thrown me. I really feel like I'm sinking most of the time. It's easier just to stay home, but we can't always stay home. My kids are well behaved for the most part. They will stay by me and will listen when we are out in public...for the most part. They are still kids. Anyway, this man made me so mad. How dare he. I really do let my kids be independent. I read an article once about a lady who was at the park watching her children. She was writing a letter to the people "catching" her children. In this letter, she tells them not to. That she is watching them from a safe distance and she is allowing them to fall and get back up. This has really struck a chord with me. I really feel like if we don't allow our children to fall and scrape their knees and learn how to handle different situations, we are doing them such a disfavor in the long run. ...anyway, back to Ikea. I was pretty upset from this man, but we got inline to get food. The kids were swinging from the bars and were being hungry kids. Another man behind me, I could tell was counting. (I thought he was counting kids because 9 for two moms, is quite a lot!! ..even for Utah!!) I turned around and was trying to make light of the situation and made some comment thinking he was counting kids. I just laughed (I had already cried, so what were my choices?!). He started laughing and told me he washing counting kids, that he was counting meatballs for his wife at home. He was so kind and gentle and forgiving of our wild kids. I apologized for the crazy line he was behind and he told me to not apologize. He loved every minute of it and loved watching them. He told me stories about how life goes by so fast and that he had two boys who were now grown. He told me I was a beautiful mom, doing a great job. We exchanged smiles and laughed about how crazy life is at this point in my life and we all sat down to eat.
I couldn't help but appreciate this man. The older man on the escalator could have handled the situation so much better than he did. I couldn't sit down to eat. I needed to thank this man for not being so grumpy, so I walked over and sat down by him to thank him. He told me he flies a lot and was getting food for his wife so she could eat out, and he would go home to a home cooked meal. He was sweet and kind and reminded me a lot of my dad. He was just kind. I of course was bawling talking to him and thanked him. I told him about how just five minutes earlier, I have totally felt mom-shamed and felt like I was failing, but that he turned my day completely around and I couldn't have been more appreciative of him.
What a great example of kindness and patience. Lots of lessons learned.
Ashtyn is trying to crawl!!
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